I woke up this morning thinking what I did just before I fell asleep . . . that I might never get married. I have lost sight/hope of my fairy tale. Perhaps it’s time to wake up from my reverie – fairy tales do not exist, at least not anymore.

Perhaps it’s time to watch “He’s Just Not That Into You” again …

As much as I would love to don a wedding gown, walk down the aisle in some beautiful church or church looking building, be a Mrs somebody, have my own place … I feel disillusioned. Like things were never meant to be this way, like fairy tales were never meant to happen, at least not to me.

My long term goal : own my own pad, a condo with the likes of Costa Del Sol … the perfect view, facilities.

What do I need to Achieve my goal :
focus (on current work)
timetable to make sure I do my work
keep looking back at this post to make sure I’m getting there & moving forward

Good luck to me!

My mum and Yi-ma got hairy crabs from Chinatown today. Apparently they’re cheap at $90/kg. I’m not so sure . . .
But anyhow, 2 crabs made it into my tumtums. They were kinda tasty … lots of roe – which I absolute love … cute tasty legs that are extremely to eat with a pair of scissors and some pokey crab thingy …

Perhaps I have finally made a point. Rather, for once, I made my point to everyone.
It seems as though people really do care, like they are making an effort to be nice to me.

Grateful for attention/non-attention I’m getting.
I just needed people to understand, sometimes to even stay away.
I just needed to not talk about stuff. I don’t run away. Sometimes I just need to walk away and not talk about it. I will come back to it. Just give me some time.
I don’t want to deal with it right away.
So just back off.

Sometimes I just need to focus on the unimportant stuff.

I felt like a bottle of coke that’s been shaken too hard, ready to burst the bottle, under too much pressure. Yet the atmospheric pressure kept me in …

I feel better now. Not back to whatever I was. But better. Like coke and the bubbles bubbling just under the surface, not spilling over anymore.

Just don’t jolt me just yet. Not just yet.