Kindness exploited?

Ever felt like you have been ‘cheated’ after giving advice to someone? especially when all that person was looking for, wasn’t advice?

I’m not angry at me. In fact, i’m not angry at all. Just have the “I should have known…” feeling.
I have spoken from the kindness of my heart. Tried to say everything in the nicest/kindest way I can … and all that was taken was hope?

I was asked for advice. And I gave it. I merely gave advice. I didn’t give hope. I never meant to do that.
At the bottom line of it all, ironically, was part of the advice I gave. That people who ask for advice need to do so with an open mind and not just wanting to hear the niceties or the positive news.

I am frustrated. Only because I really should have known. In some way, I feel like I have wasted all my time typing in full sentences and trying to put it in a most easily comprehended way. But then again, humans just want to see the things they want to see. They do not wish to see the truth. They hide from it. And it’s highly irritating.

Don’t ask me for “advice” again. And here is brutal phy :

“I hate to put it in these words, but just move on. All you are showing me is a person who can’t see what is good for himself. I have been extremely patient and I do not have to prove it to anyone who’s reading this. It’s pretty obvious. You need to pick yourself up. No one else can help you if you do not wish to help yourself.

If you want to wallow in self-pity, no one and no amount of advice will help. If you do not wish to listen and accept the painful truth, then no one and no amount of advice from professionals or even me, the poison ivy, will help. You can say you listen and all, only you would know if you truly do listen or are simply hearing words.

There is so much ahead of you and you are blinded by the material things you want. It is all short-sighted. You are throwing away everything that has been presented to you on a silver platter for the things you are unable to get, much like a kid throwing tantrums because his parent wouldn’t let him stick his hand into the lion’s den. Lose the hand, and you will be handicapped forever. Yet, the kid will never see it that way. All he knows is that he can’t do what he wants.

I have put it plainly. Focus on the friends who have stuck around you and see them and appreciate them. It takes a concerted effort to focus on them and not think “i wish phy were here … ” It takes a concerted effort to concentrate on your work now but how short-sighted can you get that it is worth losing your CAREER for a girl like me. If ever this happens and we cross paths, I pray you will never point your finger at me as the one who ruined your life, just as you blame your parents for where you are today and not where you ought to be. You need to know what is most important to you right now. It isn’t the machine you call your ride. Neither is it any one else. It is your career. For if you throw that away, do not assume that you have your parents to depend on for the rest of your life. For they can be there for as long as they can. But at some point, they will not be able to slog like they have been doing. Neither will they be able to provide for you and help you whenever you call for it. At some point, you will drain them of everything they have come to possess from their hard work. And you, their son, will have nothing to show for except that.

No matter how I’ve felt I’ve been shortchanged in my family, I thank my parents for the person I have become. Perhaps if my dad wasn’t as strict as he was or if he never put me down as much as he did, I wouldn’t be as determined to show him all that I am capable of all this time. Perhaps if my mum hadn’t refused to lend me any money to go backpacking when I graduated from uni, I wouldn’t have known the value of money and known that everything I wish to do, I have to work for it myself. And perhaps that’s also why I do not expect any monetary help from anyone. Perhaps that’s also why I never asked anyone for help when I started The Scarlet Affair. And no matter how small I started, I am proud to say I did it all on my own and it is my pride to have. No one can or will ever say I didn’t do it on my own.

So the only person who can save you is yourself. You are who you want to be. And if you ask me now if I ever wish to turn back time, no. I will say this once more : I do not forget the past. I remember it. I do not hate it. I simply accept it as a part of my life. I take the life lessons I can from all the “events” in my life and I learn. Perhaps alot of it was shitty and some have made me feel fear. But they are all that have made me. Move on. Be the man you’ve always talked so much about or even declared. All I see now, is simply a boy who is trying ways and means to stick his hand into the lion’s den, still stubbornly ignorant despite the warnings from his loved ones.

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To my friends who truly care about me from the bottom of their hearts : if ever you have to break some news that would certainly hurt me, please do NOT mask the truth or bend it or beat about the bush so much that it is as good as nothing is said. Just give me the truth. In the face. I have said this so many times before. I might cry, hurt and god knows what else … but I will get back on my two feet again, given time. I will, I promise, albeit I might need some help and company. But rest assure I will. So just hit me with the truth & I will be grateful.