I love sundays! It’s always so peaceful, at least for me.
A time for me to focus on what I need to do without disturbances. *wee!*

These couple of days, my mood has kinda been like the weather. Sunshine this moment, thunderstorm the next.
Just a few things really get to me though. Most people steer clear. Most do not get to see my wrath.
I often liken myself to a dormant volcano, lava bubbling just under the earth, invisible to those who don’t know me truly.
When I erupt, I E.R.U.P.T.

I’m really tired. Tired of explaining to everyone that I do not want to ‘pak tor’, ‘date’,… that I’m NOT ‘pak tor-ing’ or ‘dating’ or ‘seeing’ anyone …
Tired of people telling me I’m the one for them and they’ve been waiting for a long time or that they will wait.
This in itself sparks questions in me … if I’m the one for all these people, then really, ‘The One’ doesn’t exist, does it?
If it’s ‘The One’, then there should only be 1 person who’s ‘The One’ for each of us.
Something here just doesn’t add up, does it?

And there’s the other extreme. Those who think I love/like them. Get it right. I love ME. I love PHY.
Not anyone else.
Many in this world love living in their own version of reality. The one where they are King of the Jungle.
I must apologize for I live with my two feet planted on the ground. I say it as it is.
The truth hurts. But it’s the truth.

I’m skeptical, cynical. Jaded.
Perhaps it’s just everything that’s happening around me now.
But I really don’t want to talk about BGR.
(Well, yeah, admit it or not, all of us, deep down inside, are BOYS and GIRLS).

Even if I were to be dating someone or a few people, what’s it got to do with anyone else?
N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
Get it right.

And if one day, I decide to marry some person my family will never accept, be it a person of another race, skin color etc., I will still go ahead.
I’m no pushover. Not even with my family.
I was like that. I am still this way.
(Yes, if it means elope, which by the way, in this modern world, happens everyday … yes, I will & not bat an eyelid.)

I am, say 80-90% in tune with my head and heart. I get me right most of the time. Who knows me better than me? God only, perhaps.
So unless you consider yourself The Almighty, do not doubt me.
I know what I need. I know what I want. I know what I do not want.
Your advice means something to me when I ask for it. Or when it’s your place to give it. Otherwise, just shut it.

Everyone on this earth has their own place.
Stay in your boundaries. Do not intrude in my personal space.
I am territorial. *no kidding*

Things I do NOT want to do as of yesterday:

• go to Bintan in December
• meet people whom I meet out of the kindness of my heart
• tolerate an intrusion of personal space
• answer nonsensical questions or questions that people don’t need the answers to

And of course, there’s the defeatist attitudes of so many I know.
For crying out loud, just do away with playing the victim. You people with the defeatist attitudes are possibly the most egoistic and prideful lot.
Those who refuse to listen to others, those who curse their ‘misfortune’ and not see the good in it.
Perhaps, this is why we have a plethora of self-help books these days, and more coming up.
What happened to the ‘Can do’ attitude of our generation?
Singaporeans, all softies… Bah!

I’ll carry on with more angst another day. I need to keep the zen.

Apparently, I can start resembling a shaken coke bottle, according to D =)
*blank look* <- that was my reaction ... I hadn't the slightest clue what that meant. He says a shaken coke bottle looks just like any other coke bottle. Only when you open the bottle, do you realize it is different,... Then Mr Wee smsed me this (read: look down a couple of lines). I absolutely love it =) Makes you think about your daily life and how time simply passes us by. We're so caught up in the rat race, just struggling to survive, that we forget our loved ones, who sometimes pass us by. It's as though we spend our lives focusing on each step we take, forgetting to look up and check what's ahead. By the time realization hits us in the face, a loved one gone, or even youth gone by, you can only look back with regret. Therefore, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ~ Mahatma Ghandi

How apt. =)

Have you ever watched the kids,
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain,
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down,
Don’t dance so fast,
Time is short,
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask ‘How are you?’
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down,
Don’t dance so fast,
Time is short,
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say, “Hi”?
You’d better slow down,
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short,
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there,
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift thrown away.
Life is not a race,
Do take it slower,
Hear the music,
Before the song is over.

I love wordpress!

I work with it night and day … and thank goodness I love it … at least up till now!
It’s kinda like an addiction … probably like your addiction to coffee or bubble tea …

This is really an insane hour to be typing this blog.
I must say my brain is hardly working. This is probably all gibberish. But then again, whose blog isn’t about the nonsensical stuff we do everyday?!

My back is aching badly … my neck & shoulders especially. I can hear them creak (read: groan + ache) each time I stretch.
I think a massage is in the works … but then again, that’s what I always say … just like how a jog is in the works … or yoga is in the works too …

ah well! at least my blog is done =)

Anyways, here’s birthday wishes to Moi Ling & Kam!
Peace & happiness always!

I can’t remember the last time I heard that said. I think it was at least 7 months ago.

There’s so many things I said, and yet, there’s so many others that were never mentioned.
The real reason I gave the bed away was because it hurt too much. I couldn’t go to my room and sleep in the bed without crying for a long long time when you kinda disappeared and took your time. I hid out in my sister’s room. At times, she slept right beside me just so I had company, just so I wouldn’t cry.

Anyhow, the slate is clean.

“Shouldn’t the world stop? Don’t they know what has happened to me?
But the world did not stop, it took no notice at all,…” ~ Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

And the world keeps on spinning and life goes on.

We went to Shashlik today for dinner. We felt like steak, chateaubriand to be exact. This is the first time in a long long while someone took me to a restaurant and paid for me. It felt odd in a way, coz it felt like old times when we were together. Yet there was the jarring reminder of a phonecall to bring me back to earth.

Ikea was nice… and I really did wolf down that hotdog. I was really hungry. I felt a kind of relief telling you about the bed. I still feel bad, but it’s not a hidden truth. It’s nice to come out in the open, even if it means getting nagged at or losing the possibility of a brand new comp…

The last time I had the Swiss macaroons was when we went to Bali, Hard Rock Hotel. Remember we argued at the airport, on the plane, all the way. It was kinda make or break then. Look where we are today. We’ve come a long way … the good and the bad. It’s always a package, isn’t it? I had one when I got home … it tasted like vanilla.

Thank you for making the effort today. For the great company, talk … advice/nagging/lectures etc. For dinner, and macaroons … For letting me have a sit in that chair … For letting the tears run without the historic grumbles and irritations … =)
I had a great time. Really. Thank you.

Zara means Sunshine in Hebrew.

When she first caught my eye at SPCA, I just knew she was a darling!
A day after arriving home, she reminded me of Marley in Marley & Me, no kidding!! She destroyed most of the plants in the front porch, chewed up a couple of slippers (only the rubbery ones, mind you!) and was a terror at the beach. So much so that I really didn’t dare to take her out …

2 months home now, she’s toned down so much. It’s as though she has matured into a fine lady. Plus, she’s adopted Ruffy’s behaviour … she loves being hugged and touched. She loves to play … She loves attention… Who doesn’t?

Just recently, she lost her appetite and appeared sad and listless. She was hardly her energetic self. I sat down next to her food bowl and like magic, she started to eat. The cutest was she would stop halfway through and stare at me. I picked up some food, fed her handfuls at a time. She’s now eating regularly.

She’s probaby the only dog in the legacy of dogs we’ve had in our family, whom I’ve spent so much time with.

I simply love her!